ungold: (Default)
[personal profile] ungold
I was going to start this post doing an entry about Julian which was probably going to swell his ego no ends. But with one thing and another it's become about a lot more than him. It's...fuck it's me and my life. About what being an omega with the power of creation and death and what it does to me.

So you're probably thinking, shut up and stop whining, you've got your powers and who wouldn't want to be able to be you? Well...it's a lot harder than you think and I am *not* talking responsibility, I've figured that out, only I can decide to do the things so it's my decision. The problem is....

My powers, I'm aware of life and death around me at every second of the day. I just have to touch someone once, and I could tell them what was wrong and rather scarily how long before their bodies wears out of they continue living like they are. It freaks me out. And once people work out what I can do or heal them they look differently at me. Whether it's with aw, and I'm suddenly up on a pedestal and treated differently or its fear and people don't want me getting close. Even my friends. They do it without realising it and they don't know how to handle it. It's always over the top reassurances or yelling and calling me an idiot because they don't know what else to do.

What I need. What I want is for someone to remind me I'm Josh Foley, a kid who loves sport and being part of the cool crowd. There's only one guy I know who does it and that's Julian Keller. Gay as it sounds I love the guy and he keeps me grounded. If Scott and Jean had platonic love, well that would be us, at least for me. If anyone wants to tease me about this, feel free. But he's kept me sane more than once.

I get the feeling when I get too powerful, when I can't be around people because I'm too separate, he'll be the one giving me the arguments to keep trying and I don't want to let him down you know? Really, I want him to keep his faith in me that I can always be what he thinks I am.

But I can feel myself drifting, even in the Nexus. I've been healing people, I know their strengths and witnesses. I miss my team I miss the people who know me as something more than a power. Julian has got Laura and that's great for him. It really is. I just.... I wish I had that or something, just something to make feel something more than being an Omega.

I don't wanna be like Phoenix, I don't want to go.

Date: 2011-06-27 06:51 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (faceeyebrow)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
Uh, if you're Jean does that mean I'm Scott?

...I have so many problems with that I don't even know where to start.


But for real? Foley, stop worrying so damned much. You're probably one of the most powerful mutants left in the world. It's only a problem if you forget the part where it's cool.

Date: 2011-06-27 07:07 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facesmirk)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
That's so many levels of untrue. You shouldn't see your powers as some kind of curse, Josh. You especially.

Date: 2011-06-27 07:17 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facelookdown)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[Bluntly] That's dumb. You've always been Omega, you just didn't know it. And you'll always be Josh. Knowing more about your powers is no reason to freak out. Know them, control them. Then you don't need to worry.

Date: 2011-06-27 07:34 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facegrr)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
Then they're dumb, and not worth worrying about. People can be fucking idiots, Josh. It doesn't damn well matter what they think.

Date: 2011-06-27 08:23 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (joshreacttobad)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
That's easy. Just prove them wrong, remind them you're not just Zen Master Foley.

Date: 2011-06-27 08:32 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facelookdown)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
Maybe you do. Everyone does, when it matters enough. The alternative is to just stop caring and let them think whatever.

[He will be following that advice himself in like a year :|]

Date: 2011-06-28 06:01 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facestare)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[Julian just looks at him] You are.

Date: 2011-06-28 08:14 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facesmirk)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[Hint of a smirk] Took you long enough to figure that out.

Date: 2011-06-28 08:49 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facestare)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
...

Then what does it mean?

Date: 2011-06-28 09:05 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (faceeyebrow)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
Okay, now I definitely wanna know.

Date: 2011-06-29 01:01 am (UTC)
hellionated: (faceangryeyes)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
I don't run.

[He does but he blames other people for it!]

Date: 2011-06-29 09:42 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facestare)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[Just looks at him, waiting for him to go on. Expectantly waiting. Waiting.

...

Yeah not going away here]

Date: 2011-06-29 11:35 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facewaitwhat)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[Not vanishing, cause he's an idiot ad doesn't get it for a minute. And then he thinks he kind of does, and his eyes widen]

...

Okay. Uh, got it. That...

...

[Fuck]

Date: 2011-06-30 09:21 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (facewaitwhat)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[Quickly] Yeah. Okay. Agreed.

I should. Go now.

[HE'S NOT RUNNING THIS IS JUST AWKWARD. AND WEIRD. WHICH MAKES IT OKAY, OKAY?]

Date: 2011-06-30 09:24 pm (UTC)
hellionated: (tekeflight)
From: [personal profile] hellionated
[OKAY GONE. GOING OUTSIDE TO FLY NOW AND BE AS FAR AWAY FROM THE AWKWARD AS POSSIBLE]

Date: 2011-06-30 05:14 am (UTC)
green_xman: (Dark)
From: [personal profile] green_xman
Josh...

[He sighs.]

I've always thought of you as Josh. Never just a power or an omega-level mutant.

[A small pause.] And I call dibs on teasing you about your little man-crush on Julian.

Date: 2011-07-01 03:16 pm (UTC)
green_xman: (Smile)
From: [personal profile] green_xman
Oh, first you say feel free now it's keep it under wraps? [He chuckles.]

Don't worry, I'll save what little teasing I may do for when it's just you and me hanging out. Speaking of which, we should do that some more.

Date: 2011-07-01 03:21 pm (UTC)
green_xman: (Smile)
From: [personal profile] green_xman
Oh I know.

We never do do enough of it, do we? Well I went and found a frisbee if ya wanna toss it around for awhile.

Date: 2011-07-03 07:36 pm (UTC)
green_xman: (Smile)
From: [personal profile] green_xman
As normal as can be. No one being half dead, St Trinians or otherwise.

Date: 2011-07-03 09:10 pm (UTC)
green_xman: (Default)
From: [personal profile] green_xman
[He chuckles a little.] True, true.

Profile

ungold: (Default)
joѕн ғoley | elιхιr

November 2015

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
222324252627 28
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 26th, 2017 04:28 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios